Lonely Places

Does He See Us In the Lonely Places?

Have you ever felt completely alone? Feeling like there is no one you can turn to for help? The tears of anger and frustration that fall unchecked because it seems as if your drowning and no life jacket is there to keep you afloat; screaming out to God but it seems as if he has turned a blind eye to all your suffering, leaving you to struggle through it by yourself. Surrounding yourself with family and friends doesn’t help; even though they see your pain, have said prayers with and for you, they never truly understand the wrenching agony and desolation that has grabbed a hold of you.

I’ve been there, been to a place so dark it seems all light has vanished. Wasn’t interested in anything going on around me, could barely make myself get out of bed or eat anything. Work no longer gave me an escape from my oppressive thoughts, I could no longer work out my frustrations through writing or even unwind between the pages of a book. I was existing, being there but never truly present; I would laugh at the right times, participate in group activities with friends all the while I was dying a little more inside. Wanting to cry but the tears wouldn’t fall, I felt empty. I would pray to God, asking him why me? Didn’t he love me? Was he blind to all my woes? There were days I hated God, blamed him for everything going wrong, screamed at him for leaving me in this lonely place, but no matter how loud I shouted or how long I cried I never heard him answer.

I was at work one morning when I was reminded of something. I was reminded that no matter how we may feel or how it looks we are never truly lonely, God is always with us even in the dark and lonely places. How did I come this conclusion you might ask, well this wonderful epiphany came while at work doing my daily devotional. The author was talking about her own personal struggles, everything she was going through,the questioning, all of it resonated with me: I thought wow there is someone out there that understands what I am feeling. I took what she said to heart, the verse she used was Luke 5:16 ” But Jesus often withdrew to the lonely places and prayed.” It made me realize that God’s own son knew the lonely places and sometimes chose to go to these lonely places so he could be closer to his father, because he knew that no matter what he would never be left to face it alone, he knew his father would come into the lonely place with him if he went to him in prayer. I realized then that God never really left me, he was there with me in my lonely place,was just too caught up in my own pain to see that he was there holding me up, wiping my tears and comforting my sorrow. With tears running down my face I prayed a prayer thanking God for coming into my dark and lonely place, for being there for me even though I was too blind to see, too deaf to hear his voice reassuring me. No matter how dark or lonely this life may seem our heavenly Father is right there, all we have to do is follow Jesus and invite him into our lonely places so he can turn it into what the writer calls our”Sacred Spaces.”